Texto de Pedro Bial
Para começo de conversa, vamos esquecer a consanguinidade. No Dia dos Pais, celebramos um laço afetivo. E não há laço afetivo que nasça pronto.
“Se não fosse seu pai, você seria amigo dele?”, eis uma pergunta que embatuca muito malandro e gente boa.
Como diz Keanu Reeves, num filme maravilhoso chamado Parenthood, inacreditavelmente vertido no Brasil como O tiro que não saiu pela culatra
“Nesse país, você precisa de licença para caçar, licença para pescar, licença para dirigir… Para ser pai, não, qualquer um…”
Não estou falando em tentar legislar mais um aspecto da vida privada, nisso o Brasil já se esmera e supera. Falo do desejo de ser pai – da preparação que isso requer, do trabalho que dá, de como é caro –, falo da flor de estufa que é a ideia de pôr alguém no mundo, falo na tragédia de ser um filho indesejado, órfão de pai vivo.
Olhe bem à sua volta, observe os novos pais, eles estão em todos os lugares. Quem tem mais de 50 anos, que se lembre do medo e timidez dos velhos pais, pobres provedores. Alguns podem ter dado sorte, mas a norma eram pais cheios de cerimônia com seus filhos e filhas, que mal ousavam carregar um bebê, que dizer usufruir da intimidade da criança ou ser aliado de uma pessoa em formação, solidário amigo, que sabe ouvir e, portanto, é ouvido.
Taí uma grande contribuição da “emancipação feminina”: libertar o homem de uma couraça social e íntima, permitir a ele afinar a casca, alma cheirando a talco, entregue ao encantamento de tornar-se pai a cada dia.
E quando reconhecer um desses novos pais, não ache que é elogio cacofonizar: “Parece uma mãe!”
Não, é um pai.
Tornar-se pai é a experiência mais transformadora que alguém pode viver. Alguns não conseguem. Ter um filho muda a nossa maneira de trabalhar, de dirigir o automóvel, de ver o filho dos outros, de lembrar a criança que fomos e os pais que tivemos, quando os tivemos. Nossa generosidade, mais que testada, nos é revelada. É absoluto: alguém por quem você é capaz de morrer, de verdade.
Quando minha primeira filha biológica nasceu, ouvia choros noturnos inexistentes, alucinações de pai de primeira viagem. Escrevi, data venia, esse poema:
quando gritas,
em teus sonhos,
escuto tua voz
no meio da praça
no meio da cabeça.
cada desejo teu
em mim treme:
olhas o céu, vejo azul,
pinto peixinhos na franja do teu banho.
és a pastora, eu o rebanho.
toda essa lã é tua
e nada de mal pode te acontecer.
dorme, sou colchão e travesseiro,
sou o mundo inteiro
e só tu existes
além disso.
a eternidade é o nosso compromisso.
(Dedicado a Francisco Daudt da Veiga e Atticus Finch)
http://colunas.epoca.globo.com/mulher7por7/#post-779
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